the back track of memory

48

I

out on the back track of memory
the world is not as it seems
joys once forgotten come back
realities melt into dreams

I wish that memory would take me
to back tracks blue skies and wide plains
but the best it can find are dreams
from the days I played in back lanes
those back lanes where I floated
paper boats along the gutters
gleeful as they sailed down the drain
to their harbors in the sewers

I hear again my mother calling
come inside now for your dinner
make sure you wash your hands
after playing in that gutter
my father is home now from work
with a long back track of memories
of plains blue skies and fences
you can see them behind his eyes

but he doesn’t get everything right either
thinks he saw the legendary Welcome Stranger
but it was in ingots before he was born
probably made a good tale in the orphanage

II

let us hope  there will be no memories
of lives that will have vanished
among the dead in the land of the dead
they who will be with us the longest 

she whom I once courted then rejected
she is bound to be there
and how shall I contrive to face her
pretending I somehow cared
he to whom I vowed loyalty but forgot
they who relied on me but were abandoned
she who attended always to me
yet whom I left to die alone

all of them will be there
and how are they to be faced
better to live on with regrets
than enter unknown lands in disgrace

 

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